Complete Solitude (Travel Journal in Surumanis Beach)

(first published in https://thecoffeelicious.com/complete-solitude-93532d93adf2 at the date Feb 23, 2016)

By the time you climb down the cliff, you’ll hear a song you’ve never heard. But you know, that song is already your favorite. It’s sung by the wind, and the waves play instrument together with whispering sands when they’re getting in touch with the water.

There’s only one or two people, likely fisherman. They’re busy teasing the fish with worms. The fish are smart enough not taking the bait, seems so, because the fisherman doesn’t look satisfied. Or maybe there’s no fish in these low tide waves. In the middle of this blue, you care not. The place is pretty empty.

Look! There, in front of you, far away at the horizon. Can you draw the line to separate water and the sky above? Don’t bother, because when they’re reflecting each other you have no chance to disturb the unity. The two make the most wonderful stage in the universe where you can show off whatever inside you: happiness, joy, worries, grudges, fear, anything. You’ll hear them ask you to come closer, to dance along the song.

You answer them. You take off your shoes, lift your skirt, and let your feet being teased by little waves. Loose your skirt so your palms can wide open. Try to catch the wind! You can’t though, but just do it. Remember when you try to share your thought to people? They couldn’t grasp it. Now you know why. Your dreams aren’t shaped. They fly anywhere in the clouds inside your mind toward directions even you can’t point them out.

Walk closer to the deeper. It’s okay if your knees get wet. Let the water wash away all the worries and show the answer of your doubts. Let it remind you the time when your mother said she couldn’t understand you anymore, the time when you felt to be complete stranger in your house. Let the water, wind, warm light, and the blue that surrounds you strip you naked. It isn’t hurt to be honest sometimes, is it? It’s not a shame to cry out loud.

When you were much younger, the words “I can’t understand you” was kind of crown to define you as the mysterious one in the class. Your friends would respect you, thinking that you’re in another level, super cool, and would take much times for them to read all the books you’d read only to have the mind like yours. Teenagers loved anything mysterious, like the character in TV series or anime. But as the time went by, you were told to be more tolerant with reality, to differentiate which possible and the opposite. You saw the world as a very big place, tough the same time you felt your own world shrinking.

The time comes when you need someone to understand you.

You’re craving for someone to know that at times, you need to be left alone after having interaction with people for too long. Or when you answer a question with absurd one means you don’t have the answer at all. Or when you are silent, you’re in doubt of what to do or say.

Come here, dear you, lie down to the sand. Have you done pitying yourself? It’s time to grab your pen. Write down everything from the scratch. You can start with describing this place. How does the sky look like? What is the thing the wind whisper to you? If your body is falling down from that cliff, what’s the last thought slipped inside your mind? What’s the word you want to hear the most from people?

Write it all. If you run out of papers, write it on the sand. If the waves erase those words, write them again. Write until you can release the burden in your chest. Write. Shape it. Just like you find this place in searching for solitude, someday, someone will find you in his looking for perfection.

In your way home, tell people to come here. Tell them about the song you heard and the warm breeze slipped between your fingertips. Warn them about the cliff and the high tide that might come. But they need to know those are worth risking for exchange to enjoy the complete solitude we are offering.

Welcome to Surumanis Beach, dear you…